I'm Afraid, Mommy!

As an 'owner of instruments' for several decades now, I have realized that although I love to write music and record it, I am somewhat loath to monetize it. In other words, I'm not inclined to put myself out there in a way that would get me involved in the music industry.

In fact, this web site is an attempt to circumnavigate the whole 'sell your soul' aspect of what I perceive the music industry to be. As you might be able to tell, it's not doing me much good at this point. I am happy with the responses I've received from those that like my music, but the numbers are low. And if my goal is to drum up momentum and notoriety, my traffic is paltry and ineffectual.

So what does this boil down to? I believe, if I'm to be totally honest with myself, it is that I'm afraid. Yes, mother, I am afraid. What am I afraid of? Let's go down the list:

  1. I'm afraid of people telling me that my music sucks
  2. I'm afraid of not knowing what to do if I do get some positive traction
  3. I'm afraid of not being able to 'deliver the goods' once, and if, there's a desire on the part of others to hear more of my music. And lastly,
  4. I'm afraid of success

That last item is probably the biggest one. If I were to succeed, even on a small level, I'm afraid of what that might open up for me. You see, it's very comfortable to sit in my room, recording one tune after the other. I happily vacillate between thinking that I am the baby boomer's answer to new music and that I am an old fart that has no future. All of this is just chasing my tail - wearing a deeper rut in my studio floor as time passes away. Never the less, this is what I'm comfortable with and hence, am inclined to stay here.

There is, though, a very strong impulse to get past this and it is that impulse that I declare to be the guiding force in my future endeavors with music.

So, it is with a commitment to future success that I declare myself 'off the pot' as it were and actively seeking better and more effective means for getting the word out about my music. 

In other words, I'm going to make money with my music, dammit!

I'll keep you posted as to how this goes and what I've done that does and doesn't work. Not only as a way of keeping myself accountable,but also as a guide for others on this trail.

For now, I'll see you later and keep on keeping on!